I'm thinking back to my wedding day.
Yes, I was a beast bride.
Yes, I obsessed over details that would never matter ever, ever, ever either that day or any day that would follow.
Yes, I was drunk when I walked down the aisle.
I wasn’t drunk because of my selection of groom. Actually, I wasn't drunk at all, but I was happily tipsy from a glass (or a bottle...) of champagne. I was drunk (tipsy) because I suffer from stage fright (if you read me regularly, you know that I am intensely shy in person) and what I’d created wasn’t the pairing of two hearts, two souls, two partners for life, but a show,a very large show, and I was the star. I had become my own worst enemy.
Just one more victim of BRIDE’S magazine.
Does anyone else see the irony between weddings and marriage? Is it just me?
My younger sister, Lacye had an enormous outside wedding that involved 10 angels in ages varying from three to twelve. It was so sweet that nearly everyone in attendance walked awaywith diabetes. I’d been through the hardcore boot camp of baby having (I had a baby present at her wedding) and child rearing and the ravages they inflict upon your marriage and as I watched her take her vows and watched those angels, some of which, during the ceremony, were playing in dirt, one might have been in a tree (complete with theater wings she’d ordered online…) I couldn’t help but think…
“I’m glad the angels are here, you’re gonna need them, perhaps you should’ve invited God and Jesus and all the saints as well, I did and I don’t think they came. I needed reinforcements when this second baby came along…”
But they came, clearly, I’m still happily married and have two beautiful children, that’s my karma deflector for this blog post and the kind of crap you don’t want to read…Anyway….back to the blog.
Weddings are precious, aren’t they? A precursor to a lifetime of love, happiness, babies, children, school plays….sporting events….
Learning how to live with another person who comes into the marriage with all his own expectations, wants, needs, (complete and utter stupidity…) crazy sporting requirements, weird low fat eating habits, insanely thrifty spending habits, his friends….
Then you have a baby and you never knew how much you could love somebody (the baby) orhate somebody (the baby-daddy, you remember the guy who once was a groom…)because the down and dirty negotiations for diaper-changing, night time feedings, time away from the baby…and a husband who operates under the delusion “You’re the girl, it’s yours, isn’t it, I mean, I can’t have one…I‘m really not sure what to do with it.” and then you secretly suspect that you married somebody who is fit, cheap, crazy and retarded, I mean, I didn’t get the baby by myself…I’m pretty sure it came in a pretty package from a stork that said “Mrand Mrs. Flynn.”
I’m sorry, did a wedding, with the bridesmaids, the beautiful dresses, guys in black tuxedos, flower girl, (angels for the intensely deranged….) flowers, champagne (for celebrating!) hours and hours, months and months of planning….tossing and turning at night over such monumental decisions as “yellow’s my favorite color, but I just loved those pink bridesmaids dresses, even though so and so hates pink and says they should be black because black’s edgy and different but if I go with pink bridesmaid’s dresses, then maybe more yellow in the flowers, but if I go with black then I can have yellow and pink flowers, but probably just white, but how would the pink dresses or the yellow dresses look with a red runner down the aisle, the black dresses would look better with the red runner and definitely white flowers, is there a color option on the runner? DOES THE CHURCH HAVE CARPET OR HARD WOOD? IF THE CHURCH HAS CARPET, WHAT COLOR IS IT? WILL IT MATCH THE DRESSES? THE RUNNER?…..”
Honey, although these are all very important matters, are ya thinking about that groom?I know he’s handsome but does he have a job? How does he feel about his mother? What are your expectations? Do you know his? How do you feel about his parents? His friends? Hisdog? Because guess what? You’re marrying THEM, TOO, yes you are, you really, really are!
Did a wedding with all it’s beauty, all it’s celebration….how, please tell me how, a wedding is a precursor to:
Did you pay the electric bill?
Have you gained a little weight?
I better hide that Talbot’s receipt before Frank gets home.
Can I ride my motorcycle tomorrow?
Do you think I’ve gained a little weight?
When are you going back to work? Don’t all babies go to daycare?
Do you think the trash will touch the ceiling or spread all over the kitchen first?
I had a little accident on the motorcycle, I might have sprained my ankle…
Did you roll the trash to the curb?
I love a good wedding…
So does the florist, the caterer, the bakery, the bridal shop, the tux shop and the divorce attorney.
And since we got married, other new and fun traditions have sprung up like : a gift at every table, a gift for every guest, a miniature cake for every guest, manicures and pedicures for each woman (or angel) in the bridal party….
How much money can we spend? What is now the average cost of a wedding? My parents threw five weddings for three daughters. They've celebrated their asses off! Why don’t we ask them how they feel about weddings? Do you think they're fans? Of weddings?
So now, as we approach our 15th anniversary…I think back to weddings we’ve attended, weddings we've read about, heard about…weddings, weddings, weddings…
Marriage.
Everything we’ve been through. Everything we’ve put each other through. Everything still out there to go through… Mostly good, some bad.
We’re still married, so far we've beaten the odds. I used to think it was because we're smart. Then I became smart enough to know it was because we’re lucky. Now I know it’s because we’re both smart, lucky and most, most, MOST importantly,
we pretty much just think each other's hilarious. The other day, he put on three pairs of sunglasses (two black, one white…stacked...) and, taking one pair off at a time he said
“Now, seriously."
"Now, seriously."
"Now, seriously….”
Just laugh and don’t take it too seriously….
And a little wine helps…
Thank you to all my readers, I got to my goal of 500 today and am thrilled!!! My friend Jonathan has promised me a bottle of Dom if I get to 1000....ha. ha. HA!!! Halfway there!
If you like this post, you can share it by clicking the "share" button.
For more observations, please go to the following link and click "like."
http://www.facebook.com/pa
We had no idea...no idea.
"I might have sprained my ankle." What he did was crush both heels and break one leg, end up in a wheelchair for six months, crutches for a year and we've just had one more surgery in January from a motorcycle he was not supposed to be riding.
Life's a little messy.
The day before Hannah was born, 10 lbs,6 oz, two weeks early after two rounds of IVF.
Frank and me in Orlando, 7/2009
No comments:
Post a Comment